Monday, September 13, 2004

titanic tearfest

i didn't read the book when it was just lying around the house years ago because it looked sappy and i didn't want sap.* i watched the movie because everybody told me it was sappy and these days, i'd rather cry because of movie sap than because of real life sap.

so i set a movie date to watch The Notebook, in spite of dire warnings ("do not watch it. you will die crying.") from well-meaning friends who know about me and sobbing at movies.

short of giving away the ending, let me just say that it was predictable (read this review. wish i had written it myself). and let me just say that even if it was, i was also predictably affected. it reminded me of the time i watched Pay it Forward (NOT that predictable) with two girlfriends. the credits were over and the cleaning people had gone through the whole theater and we were still sobbing our eyes out.

the horrible thing about watching a movie during the final stretch of its run is having fewer people inside the theater. fewer people = more silence. more silence = hearing every little sniffle. this is why i almost suffered a laryngeal spasm from trying to hold back the deluge of tears i wanted to release. more than anything, i wanted to let out one of those noisy sobs of despair reserved only for funerals and American Idol finals. i didn't, because i didn't want to hear any comments from the teenagers just a few rows back (the same teenagers who went "AWWWW" at every other scene).

instead i let the tears flow silently all throughout the credits, all the way down the stairs, inside the toilet booth, while retouching my powder and whenever my movie friend wasn't looking. the good news is i was prepared this time; i brought travel tissue (something i didn't have on hand when i watched Titanic -- yes, that movie. i like leo. so sue me -- which explains why half of my friend's jacket was a deeper shade of green when we left the theater).

another problem with holding back tears is crying at every other excuse to cry after the incident in question. after watching The Notebook, i cried during America's Next Top Model, was teary eyed after the Sex and the City rerun, and shed a tear for the Amazing Race (ok, i usually do). when i saw I Am Sam on HBO, i frantically changed the channel. sometimes you just have to say no.

*i'm not sure if 'sap' is an official noun. i'm hope you know i'm not referring to the sticky goo from plants. although i'm sure if you get some of that kind of sap into your eye, you'd tear up like there were no tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

the official noun for this kind of sap is "sappiness", but i learned all sorts of meanings for "sap" today: sap the plant juice, sap the gullible fool, sap the handheld weapon aka blackjack... dictionaries are such lovely things! - Ems

Pasig Raver said...

naiyak rin ako sa notebook - dun yata sa hot and wet sex scene. it's simply awe-inspiring how a woman can go round after round of "rolling in the sack". these things can and do bring tears to grown men's eyes.

a feature film is no longer healthy, in terms of body fluid retention, when the amount (in milliliters) of tears you have shed exceeds that of the bucket load you bawled out when you saw "LAND BEFORE TIME" for the first time.