Tuesday, September 07, 2004

the evil elevator eye

setting: a typical monday morning.

it was a full hour and a half before i officially had to be at the office and i was sauntering through the lobby towards the elevator. i received the usual strange looks and forced greetings from the building security guards who must have noticed by now that i always enter the building with uncombed, damp hair (believe me, it's easier to comb when dry).

as the elevator doors were opening, my peripheral vision caught the image of a lady briskly walking toward me but thought nothing of it. in a half-awake state, i slowly got inside the lift (ha! am turning bloody british!) without thinking about the stranger. as the doors started to close, i heard her shout "UPPP!!!" and with a jolt i pressed the open button (note to elevator manufacturers: those arrows? they are indistinguishable in moments of extreme stress. best to put "OPEN", "CLOSE" or even "PRESS THIS TO OPEN THE DOORS, YOU BLIND NINNY" on the buttons. our society is plagued by way too many icons).

the lady entered the elevator and out of habit i looked up and met her stare. if there is one thing i regret in my life, that would have to be it. ok, that and the time i ate a whole bag of chewy chips ahoy in one sitting. but i digress.

instead of thanking me, little miss buildingmate glared at me with as much anger as she could muster at such an ungodly hour (maybe that's where the term 'ungodly' comes from). with one cold, piercing look, she managed to tell me how mean i was for even considering not holding the elevator for her. i might have prevented a no-nonsense yuppie from logging in at 6:30 am! i have affected her daily productivity! how dare me! i am evil elevator scum with disheveled (albeit clean) hair!

hello monday.

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