Saturday, December 31, 2005

the three strikes to end the year: 2005, you're OUT!

(now wasn't that a really long, unfunny title for a blog entry? no need to email me your affirmation.)

the time: new year's eve
the setting: dinner table
the characters: goosey (g) and blog author (ba)

(i wanted to give an explanation after each mini-story for why these one-liners are funny, but decided to respect your intelligence.)

g: what are we going to drink tonight?
ba: do we have champagne?
g: we have wine with SPARKLERS.

g: i watched a dvd with juancho.
ba: which one?
g: the one with BILL THE CARPENTER.

g: let's taste that bread!
ba: ok, have a piece.
g: what do you call this again? MOCACCIA?

[after laughing loud enough to be heard above the usual new year racket, ba pauses and faces g with a serious look]

ba: mother, please, if you have the slightest bit of self-respect left in you, i urge you to refrain from saying anything else before the stroke of midnight.

she willingly agreed.


here's to a funnier 2006!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

37 years and still going

today is my parents' 37th wedding anniversary. in the car on our way to lunch, we listened to a newly purchased "Christmas With the Rat Pack" (i highly recommend this). my mother was suddenly possessed by the spirit of Christmas present and began to sing along:

through the years we all will be together

if the fates allow

hang a shining star

upon the highest bough

and have yourself

a merry little Christmas ...

... TREE

my mother: a bottomless source of amusement. to her credit, she tried to muffle the last vowel sound in an effort to disguise the error. to my credit, i unhesitatingly pointed an accusing finger and laughed my brain out.

happy anniversary to dad and goosey* – here's to more years of unintentional comedy.

*evolution: mama -> mother -> mother goose -> goose -> goosey.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

where the heart is

i'm finally back home – the land of sticky heat, rude drivers, people with no sense of personal space (and while i'm on the topic, explain to me why a fully grown human would push another entering an airplane with SEATING ASSIGNMENTS), and strangers who are afraid of common courtesy but not of incessant small talk.

i am unbelievably happy to be home. and that, for once, wasn't sarcasm.