flying the notsofriendly skies

i get cold easily. it's a fact. i don't know what all this body fat is for if it can't keep me warm. my fat is purely decorative in some places and just plain extraneous in others.

so, on the plane to hong kong, just as we were gaining altitude, i decided to ask the flight attendant for a blanket. the stewardess (do they still call them that?) nearest to me was a stern-looking woman who looked at me (and my fat) with such disdain that i quickly reviewed my request to check if i had mistakenly asked her to strip while serving the ham-and-egg breakfast. she huffed off towards the back of the plane, leaving me wondering if she was really going to give me my much-needed protection.

a few minutes later, while i was intently eavesdropping on my seatmate's conversation (i couldn't help it! she spoke in spanish, english, filipino and a bit of gayspeak!), i felt a finger annoyingly clawing at my shoulder. the last time i felt a true-blue kalabit, i was in gradeschool, and even then it wasn't pleasant.

i turned to see who was irritating me. it was she. the woman who probably trained for months and months just to become good at her job had just called my attention by tapping ... no, make that "intentionally scraping" my shoulder. apparently, that is in section 5.2.4 of the flight attendant handbook circa 1942.

she did that only to say that she was still looking for the cursed blanket.

this entry would've ended on a bitter note if not for the SECOND flight attendant, the one with a smile that should be reserved for beauty pageant triumphs and lottery victories, the one who asked me, with all the sincerity in asia, if i wanted more water. she could've looked like dirt, and i would've still felt grateful for her warmth, which stood out especially after ms nasty finger. flight attendant no. 2 singlehandedly saved the reputation of PAL, in my opinion.

if, some time in my future, i would be asked if i could remember exactly when i turned lesbian, this would have to be it.

(note to the curious: no, i'm not and have no inclinations of that sort.)