Sunday, January 17, 2016

Martina and marriage. Again.

I think marriage is a concept that interests my 9-year-old niece Martina to an unhealthy degree.

Over 3 years ago, I posted about Martina harassing her then 6-year-old friends about getting married.

Even before that, when she was 4 years old, she attacked me with the WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED question. I thought my answer appeased her at the time because she never brought it up again.

Just recently though, my sister (Martina's mom) told me that her daughter was at it once more. Oh no. I was told the conversation went like this:

Martina asked her mom, "Why isn't Tita Eng married?"

And my sister answered, "She hasn't found anyone she liked."

(Just FYI, I liked this answer a lot. Apart from it being true, it was slightly better than her latest sarcastic reply to a family friend who asked the same question. "She's too young," my sister said, which made her crack up like a drugged hyena. Sisterly love.)

Then my sweet, lovely, thoughtful niece said, "That's unfair!"

When I heard this, I almost teared up. A thousand dramatic thoughts ran through my head: Yes, Martina, I suppose it's unfair in a way. Don't be sad though. Not all societies look down upon single women. Thank you for implying the world is cruel to me. Thank you for the caring sentiment. I'm so deeply touched that –

" ... It's unfair because I have only one cousin on your side!"

Um. Oooookay then, Marteens! Thanks for teaching me never to assume that a question about my status is about me.


Martina in 2011, praying for the grace to ask the difficult questions

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