I rarely have patience for sales or telemarketing people who always somehow manage to catch me at a bad time. There have been, however, a lucky handful of them who chanced upon the perfect time to sell me something over the phone. This 'perfect time' is usually when I'm bored but not sleepy, or when I had just accomplished something at work or right after receiving good news. (Should I be bothered that these are very rare times?)
One particular salesperson, who I shall call Judy, was one of the fortunate few. I was feeling particularly happy that I had just submitted something substantial for work and willingly answered an unlisted number calling my mobile phone.
It was Judy (of course it was – I didn't mention her for no reason). Judy was the type of salesperson who talked while smiling widely and ended every sentence with a '!!!'. For instance:
'Ma'am!!! This is a great card with so many privileges, ma'am!!!'
'Maaa'am!!! You can stay at our hotel for free because I'm going to give you vouchers!!! There are so many vouchers, maaa'am!!!'It got more interesting when she found out my nickname.
Judy: Ma'am Orange!!! Oh my God, I love your name!!! One voucher allows you to have a ROMANTIC NIGHT at our Tagaytay hotel!!! You can bring your boyfriend!!!
Me: And how are you so sure I have a boyfriend?
Judy: MAA'AM!!! With a name like Orange, I'm sure you have a boyfriend!!!(I checked. I didn't have one.)
Anyway, long story short: I bought the card, partly because, beyond (despite of?) all the exclamation points, it sounded like a good deal and partly because I had to go back to work. Unsurprisingly, Judy was unnecessarily effusive in her gratitude.
'Ma'am Orange, thank you!!!! Thank you!!! I really love your name!!! I'm going to name my child after you!!!'Riiight.
Maybe I should've warned her that her offspring would have to live a life hounded by the question 'Where's Apple/Red?' and strange looks, but I just set her on her merry way. I'm sure she would move on to the next potential customer with a fantastic name she would drool over. In any case, I was grateful – I got a seemingly value-packed card and a bit of affirmation to boot. Not bad, Judy. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Too much?)
Where are the exclamation points? |
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