martina's ark

my older sister has ever so subtly hinted ("complained" would be a better word) that i have not blogged about her youngest child, the little (and i do mean LITTLE) martina. i guess it's my fault. i blogged too much about juancho, martina's older brother, so now i have to even up the score. not that i mind. kids are hilarious. particularly when they're not yours.

juancho is now 6 and martina, 2. if you ask her how old she is, she'll respond by putting up all five fingers on one hand and say "toh!" then she'll order her mom to fold 3 of her teeny fingers so only 2 are exposed. not sure if this is laziness or ingenuity. we'll find out in a few years.

(if you ask her again, she might say "four!" and still have five fingers up. she's a girl. she can be any age she wants to be.)

TOH-year-old Martina

aaaaaaaaaaaaanyway ...

it was just almost a minute after my sister commented on the dearth of martina-related entries. we were all in bed – sister, me and martina – trying to put the tiny one to sleep. i decided to start one of my customized stories for her. i supplied the plot and she filled in the blanks. before i get criticism for my plot selection, bear in mind that marteens is just TOH.

me: once upon a time, there was a cat. and the cat said ... ?

martina: MEOW!

me: the cat said MEOW! and then it saw a bird!

martina: PLYING!!! (her hand shot up in the air and simulated what seemed more like an angry hang glider than a bird in a bedtime story)

me: yes! flying! and they saw a dog. the dog said ... ?

martina: FROOF! FROOF!

(don't ask me why the dog couldn't say "woof!" maybe it had a speech impediment. maybe it had peanut butter stuck to his palate. this unconventional bark, however, signaled the inevitable downward spiral of our homemade tale.)

me: mmm ok. the dog said FROOF! FROOF! and then it saw a pig. the pig said ... ?

martina: (while smiling) MOOOOOO.

(at this point, i was seriously doubting the mothering skills of my sister. what has she been teaching her daughter??? but martina seemed really happy and content about a mooing pig, so i continued. being the storytelling genius that i am, i tried to set it back on the right path.)

me: o ... k ... the pig said MOOOOOO. and they saw a cow! (see? genius.) the cow said ... ?

martina: OH MAN! (and slapped the side of her head with her mini palm)

me: WHAT DID THE COW SAY??? (i had to see it again)

martina: OH MAN!!! (true enough, she slapped her head again)

apparently, the cow in our story wasn't all too happy because either (1) it saw a mooing pig or (2) it was ... a cow. i mean if you woke up as a cow, you'd probably slap your head too. watch out for that hoof.

i valiantly continued our interesting but substance-free tale.

me: so the cow said OH MAN! and then it saw ... a snake. the snake said ... ?

martina then just gave me a tight-lipped, almost scary smile accompanied by a tiny nod.

WAHAHAHAHAHA.

me: what did the snake say???

and she gave me that evil-smile-and-nod combi again.

in fairness, snakes never really say very much. neither did i after that story. i was too busy laughing my froof off.

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this has to be said: aside from the direct order from mah sistah, another reason why i was inspired to blog again is because just a few hours ago, rafa nadal (aka my lover) won his first wimbledon in an epic 4-hour and 48-minute match against roger federer. if rafa can conquer a grass court, then i can also triumph over my blogging laziness. see the similarity? neither do i. but it's a good excuse to mention rafa.

hi rafa. call me.